Want to live the life of your dreams? Stop controlling everything.


I'd been feeling really out of myself lately, and had been having trouble motivating myself to do the things that I KNEW would make me feel better--like practicing guitar on a regular basis. I explained it to my guitar instructor like I just felt I've been drifting--but I was unsure of how to affix myself onto something that would stop the drift.

I was feeling called to shake things up a bit, so on my drive to pick up my son on Sunday, I turned on an audiobook, The Universe Has Your Back, by Gabby Bernstein. When I first tried listening to this book, I wasn't connecting with it. But this time it was different.

(Warning: It's about to get REALLY woo-woo. But you can only benefit from embracing your inner woo-ness :D)

I immediately felt better once I started listening, and it was all because of this one idea that resonates with every fiber of my being. I needed to TRUST. The reason I was drifting was because I was so caught up in control and worry about everything I was doing and not doing in my business, as a parent, and just in general. I was trying to force things to a certain outcome.

Have you ever started to feel like you're drifting? That life is just happening to you and not working out the way you want it to?

One of the greatest things I've ever learned from my coaches and teachers is that "the how is your your business". We may have this idea of how we want things to go and happen, but that is just our fear-wracked brain and ego trying to control a situation and say we can only be happy IF we have that outcome. When you are in that space of forcing and control, you block life actually from happening FOR you, and the support of Source (The Universe, God, Life, Higher Power or whatever you refer to it as). After all--you do know what EGO means, right? Edge God Out.

What Gabby explains is that in order to live in a space where you are open to that trust in the Universe (as she calls it), you need to be setting the intention for, and actively engaging in, a high vibe life of love for everything and everyone--including yourself.  

There are some pretty amazing shifts that you can open yourself up to trusting that life will happen for you, but it requires you to shift your mindset out of fear. In my experience (and the experience of many others) the easiest way to do this is to get really present, conscious and intentional, and the fastest way to get and stay there is through meditation and prayer.

At the beginning I gave you a warning about this being woo-woo, but I'm wondering when we started referring to trust in God, and having a relationship with Him through prayer became this way? Isn't this what they've been teaching us, our parents, our grandparents, and everyone else in the world for thousands of years? None of this is new--we just maybe haven't been listening.

So I want to leave you with three questions that were gifted to me in a sermon on Sunday, that were exactly what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it (funny how this trust thing works!). 

- What do you Love?
- What do you Believe in?
- What do you Want?

There are no right and wrong answers, there are only your answers. When you know and articulate these answers, and you put them out into the world with a trust and knowing-ness that you can have all of this and more, it will all come to you. No bones about it. Ask and you shall receive.

And if you're on the fence about Trust, and letting go of all the ways fear controls your life, I have one extra question for you. What do you have to lose?

Send me a note and let me know what you think about Trust in a Source and it's place in your life! I'd love to hear about how you connect with this message and idea.

Photo by Jonathan Klok on Unsplash

Has life got you feeling out of control? Take it back today.


So no news here--it's still freezing in Saskatchewan. Why do I always feel the need to intro our chats with Weather Updates?? It's definitely the prairie girl in me...weather is a big deal around these parts!

Anyway. With the cold weather we find ourselves cooped up indoors, which I've realized is incredibly draining on me when I am around my kids 24/7, and don't make time for some alone time for myself or spend time outdoors on a daily basis.

I've recently had such a huge moment of clarity around what is happening when we get naggy, impatient, annoyed and try to control people in our lives (raise your hand if you're guilty as charged--ME!). We are trying to exert that external control on others because we don't feel good. What we need to be doing instead of trying to muscle the people around us is taking time to focus 100% on ourselves. We need to focus on INTERNAL control.

But this requires HUGE EFFORT! And why is that? Because we have to overcome all sorts of guilt, limiting beliefs, and fears around putting ourselves first and making ME time a priority.

Now you've got 2 options here:

1. You can hack the system, and just push up against the EGO and parts of you that are telling you that "it's just possible" or "I don't have enough time" or "they need me. The whole world will fall apart if I'm not there!"

(side note: Mel Robbins book 5 Second Rule is a good hack.)

OR you can

2. Create a strong vision of the life you want to be living and stay connected to WHO that person is and HOW she shows up.

(It's so simple when it's said in a sentence, but this is real work---that's why it's lasting work.

Obviously, the best thing to do is both of these: Create a strong vision for your life and push back against the EGO that is trying to keep you small.

Why both?

If we only do #1 and push up against the EGO, dig our heels in and use this "willpower" to do it, we usually only see the results we want (aka. Feel good) for the short term.

How many times have you been sick up and fed, and said "That's it! I need some me time!" and maybe you went on a girls weekend, or you stuck to the exercise plan for 6 months. All of these things are amazing, but are ultimately just you using this "willpower" that to push back against the hardwired Ego that's trying to keep you "safe". Being fed up is a putting the focus on what you don't want, and you craft your actions accordingly. It's really hard to stay motivated and on track when your vision is focused on what you don't want in your life.

For lasting change you need to be living in the space of internal control every single day, and the easiest way to do that is to create a vision of who you want to be every single day as parent, partner, employee, friend, brother, sister, daughter, son, and all the other things you belong to and roles you play that light you up.

So what is it that you want to be experiencing?
How can you start taking control of your life to be living the life that you want to be living?

Once you get clear on that, it will be easier to get clear on what those daily rituals and non-negotiable activities will be so you can have that "you" time every single day, and be the person you are meant to be.

Send me a note back at paula@leadyourwaycoaching.ca with what resonates with you!

Photo by Ben Blennerhassett on Unsplash

5 Tips for Transforming Your Mindset


What a week last week! I was in London for a 2-day event celebrating the end of a program that I have been a part of for the last 1.5 years. I knew it was going to be an incredible experience, but that ended up being an understatement.

It was hosted at The Ritz in London, which was the perfect setting of beauty and possibilities for the amazing group of women that were there. On Day 1, I was invited to be a part of a panel and presented on my journey the last 1.5 years, and I had the opportunity to share 5 mindset tips and shifts that have been life changing for me.

If you haven't had a chance to watch the Facebook Live I did sharing these 5 tips, Watch It Here! Or keep reading for all the details :D (and go back and watch the video after for all the juicy parts).

So without further ado, here are my 5 Tips for Transforming Your Mindset.

Tip 1: Banish Judgement from your life
If you find yourself going down the road of judgement often (judging others AND yourself), it is time to kick this habit and response once and for all. Judgement closes off opportunity, positive energy, and really anything that is going to serve you adopting a mindset of success. My biggest lesson around releasing judgement of others was when I had an opportunity to work with my coach, Emily Williams, and the old me was tempted to judge her on all the ways that she was different than me. But I listened to my gut and invested in the opportunity to work with her because I knew there was so much I could learn from her.
And I'll let you in on a not-so-secret, secret--the sooner you let go of judging others, the sooner you can let go of the ways you judge yourself.

Tip 2: Recognize that you are not your thoughts
ESPECIALLY the negative ones. You know the easiest way to know you are not your thoughts? You actually can feel the negativity from that inner voice and self-talk that chirps at you and brings you down. That means there is a part of you who can acknowledge that voice as negative and bringing you down. The one who can notice that voice is that true version of you--you know the one. The one with all the dreams, desires, passions. The one who wants to experience something greater than what you're experiencing right now. You are not your thoughts--you are the beautiful being that wants more than the negative repeat going on in your head.

Tip 3: Surround yourself with Love, Compassion, and Gratitude
So this means if you have people in your life that are not contributing to love, compassion and gratitude in your life, maybe you need to create some boundaries? We are creatures of habit--especially with our family and friends. But if there are some big changes that you want to make in your life, it may require some big changes in your relationships and how you engage in them. I'm not saying cut people out of your life (but I am saying that if you have truly toxic people around you)--I am saying maybe you only engage in the relationships and activities that serve you, and limit the others that you know won't.
It goes without saying then that you should surround yourself MORE with people that support you, and feed that love and gratitude in your life.
And lastly--and most importantly--adopt a routine of self-care that includes all of these things! Self-love, self-compassion, and a big dose of being grateful every single day. Engage in the activities that light you up (any creatives out there? Get painting/playing/singing/dancing/baking/sewing/etc.), give yourself white space in your day to relax, meditate (<--this is key), journal. Take care of you. AND include a daily gratitude practice of just writing down 1-3 things you are grateful for from your day. This is just until it becomes something you walk around doing all day every day.

Tip 4: Pay attention to repetitive blocks and setbacks
When life gets you down, and you feel like saying "not this again!", take that as your cue that there is maybe some really big opportunity to change your life. In our problems and our pain lie some pretty incredible a-ha's and learnings. The bigger the block, the bigger the shift! My biggest came when I was going to be a single Mom--which is not a situation that most women are excited about going into--because in my case there was a ton of heartache that went along with it. Most of which was caused by my own self-loathing and lack of self-love. But boy oh boy was there a lesson in there for me! And a blessing (Or a Blesson as I like to call it). 
Everything that is happening to you is happening for you to evolve into the person you are meant to be.

Tip 5: Release and let it go
About those blocks and setbacks--you have to fully embrace them and let them go. Sometimes we make mistakes, sometimes things happen to us that suck, but if we make ourselves wrong or wish things would have happened differently we are hanging on to the energy of those blocks and setbacks. You need to extend forgiveness to yourself for whatever perceived mistakes, wrongdoings, shame, or guilt you hold on to, and you also need to extend forgiveness to yourself for wanting things to be different and playing the "if only" game.
This is a big one--because it may require you to dig up the old pain, shame and feelings that you've pushed down from the big setbacks and sad moments in your life. But on the other side of that pain is the life you are meant to be living.

So what do you think? Are there some shifts and changes you are looking to make to really start feeling like you are actively participating in and engaged in your life? I'd love to hear what you think! Send me a message with your thoughts, a-ha's or ANYTHING! 

Wishing you all sorts of transformation, this transformation Tuesday!

Photo by Luca Micheli on Unsplash

Become Active instead of Reactive


So we're finishing up week 3 of 2018, and I'm still hanging on tight to courage! My most recent courageous move? I stopped preparing special meals for my 6 year old, picky eating son COLD TURKEY!

I take full responsibility for the fact that I created a monster--and it started early. And do you know what the culprit was that got me into this entitled eater mess? Mom Guilt! I was a single Mom, working full-time, and sharing time with my son's Dad, so in the two hours we had together before bedtimes each night, I just wanted to enjoy my time with him and didn't want him to feel bad because Mommy was making him eat something he didn't like.

Maybe you can relate? Have you caved in a decision before that wasn't what you really wanted, just to avoid something?

I finally decided enough was enough--and I had to be courageous enough to make decisions from a place of what I want, and not what I felt bad about or avoiding hurting someone's feelings.

How often do you find yourself reacting to life as it happens to you, and saying "oh great--not that again!"? And then afterward--you beat yourself up for not doing what you really wanted to?

I'll tell ya what won't help you get the things you want---and that is Self-Judgement.

We are so hard on ourselves for not living up to our own expectations---but what if instead of judging yourself, the next time something happens and you start laying into yourself knowing it's not what you wanted, just notice.

Notice that you didn't like it, and that you want something different.

So that's the first thing. Notice.

The second is to not make yourself wrong for feeling the way you do. It will only perpetuate it and keep you stuck. By noticing--you can acknowledge that the person who is feeling that way isn't really you.

So what next? Well after Noticing and Not Making Yourself Wrong, ask yourself some questions:

1) What to I want to be experiencing instead?
2) How would having that desired experience make me feel?

and the most important question:
3) How can I feel like that today? What can I do differently?

To start being an active participant in your life, you have to acknowledge and know that you have a choice. You can choose to experience something different in every undesirable happening.

So how can you start feeling the way you want to feel today?

Screw the resolutions! What to do instead that will stick



I'm sorry for the salty language in my title--I couldn't find a more eloquent way to put it (I tried!).

So we've closed out 2017 and it is officially the New Year! I've never really cared about New Years, and been plagued by this idea that I need to set a resolution and to start or stop doing something in order to make it a great year ahead. I used to be the person who fell back into my old habits and disappointment of not being able to hold on to what ever superficial resolution I had decided on.

Where does the New Years resolution even come from? I'm glad you asked! It started way long ago as a promise to God in hopes they would get in good favour with Him.  Whatever the origin, resolutions still don't feel right for me.

What feels WAY better is reflecting on the blessings and lessons that were offered last year, expressing gratitude for them, and then setting an intention of how I want to show up and who I want to be in this New Year.

I'm curious--What was your biggest Blesson (Blessing + Lesson) of 2017?

I'd like to share mine with you, if that's okay. And it's a big one.

My biggest Blesson of 2017 was really, truly accepting and knowing that I didn't love myself, and I hadn't for more than 20 years. I cried a lot of tears at this revelation--partly over the deep sadness I'd carried with me for so long, but mostly of relief that I could finally do something about it. After coming into this awareness, I spent the rest of the year taking action on flipping the switch on how I felt about myself, and showing myself unconditional Self-Love.

This was no accident. I had consistently been hitting blocks and walls in my life, because no matter how much I set the intention to change something--like how I showed up for my family, in my business and in my life--it wouldn't stick. And it was through this frustration that it hit me: How could I express the love, passion and joy to others if I couldn't express it to myself?

I'm still on this journey of unconditional Self-Love, and that is how I've shaped my intention for 2018. I'm going to take courage with me to unapologetically love myself, and take action on all the things in my life that go along with that.

This is including and not limited to having the courage to:

  • Not allow the negative energy and beliefs of others into my life
  • Push through the fear, and continually take action toward what I want
  • Ask for what I want and receive it with gratitude
  • Fail
  • Be uncomfortable--I hope to feel uncomfortable more than comfortable this year, because I know I will be pushing my limits

So if you've taken time to reflect on your biggest Blesson of 2017, what is the intention you can set for next year?

No matter what it is, I hope you give yourself the love and grace to know you are worthy of the best year of your life in 2018. And what's more important than starting or stopping something in the way of a resolution, is setting the intention for how you will show yourself that love.

Send me an email at paula@leadyourwaycoaching.ca if you want to share your Blessons and Intentions! I would love to hear them and connect with you more. There's a power in saying (typing) them out loud.

Wishing you love, light, peace and blessings for an incredible 2018.

Stop! Collaborate and Listen...

Where all my Robert Van Winkle fans at? Okay I'm not a die hard Vanilla Ice fan, but he definitely was on to something with that lyric.  He pretty much just simplified personal development in 4 words! 

This week is your week of STOPPING.  In my Facebook Live video yesterday (find it here) I talked about all the demands we have on our time and the responsibilities that make life feel a little overwhelming and stressful. There's so much we feel like we have to get done in a day and week that it feels like there's very little time spent doing what we want to do. So we get to the end of our day and we realize there's been a) no alone/quality time at all or b) no time for actual enjoyment because the things you should be doing are stacking up (like cleaning the kitchen floor that has food all over it from your messy kids).

But what if all it took to be living the life that you really wanted was to just change your perspective?  Change what you focus on and why, by asking some simple questions and answering them truthfully.

When you wake up every single day, who do you want to be? How do you you want to show up in your personal life and at work? How do you want to feel everyday?

If you have trouble answering these questions right away, just keep asking them! The best thing about God--or the Universe, or whatever higher power you believe in--is that He will always give us the answers we are looking for.  

Once you know the answers to these questions, you are ready to stop doing all of the things that don't align with what you really want in your life.  Those things you do out of personal obligation, and all the "have to's, I should's, and need to's" that are born out of your need to please others or give them what you THINK they need. 

What the people in your life need is a person who is making themselves happy and fulfilled first. Put the oxygen mask on. Be joyful and loving to yourself so you can be joyful and loving to others. So you can lead by example and show all those in your life how to live with purpose.

Go on over and check out the Facebook Live from yesterday to dig even deeper on this topic!

If you need to brainstorm and write down some answers to these questions so you can get even more clarity, respond to this email and let me know how you want to feel, show up and who you want to be in your life. I would love to know more about you.

For now---don't forgot this week's theme, that comes from one of the most recognizable songs that you won't get out of your head, at least for today. (Vanilla Ice, Ice Baby...do do do do do do do do....)

Stop---doing what does not serve who you want to be, how you want to show up and want to feel.
Collaborate---with your life and the higher power that is there to give you all that you desire in your life.
and Listen---to yourself, to your intuition, and that voice inside that is telling you what you really want.

"There" Doesn't Exist

I just got off a call with my coach, and he said something that I'm sure he's said dozens of times before, but today it really resonated with me, like I was "ready" to hear it.  Have you ever had a moment like that?

So the idea goes like this.  You probably have goals and dreams, aspirations and a bucket list of items you want to do.  And sometimes it might feel like "Well when that happens THEN I will finally feel free, happy, beautiful, joyful, peaceful, and have everything I ever wanted, and life will be easy, footloose and fancy free."

The perfect outcome of when we have this, or do that, or achieve that milestone---where we then never have to worry ever again because we have everything we want.  Well I hate to break it to you---it doesn't exist.

"There" doesn't exist. 

How many times have you said "when I have ________ (a new job/more money/kids/a vacation/my own business/etc) I will be more ___________ (happy/content/fulfilled/etc)"?

Odds are, you will get "there" and it won't feel like you imagined.  So you will think you must have been wrong, and will focus on that next thing that will make you feel how you want to feel.

"There" is just our mind busying us with thoughts about what it is we desire in our life, and something we measure ourselves against from where we are now.  Usually what happens when we start measuring is that voice (You know the one) telling us WHY we don't measure up, based on all the things that have happened to us before.  

When we're focused on "there", we worry about the future, get anxious about the past, and forget about right here.

Right now.

Where you are right now is part of your journey.  When you stay present in where you are, you begin to notice that you have a choice.  You can CHOOSE to feel the things you want to feel, and that you don't have to wait for something to happen in order for you to have those feelings.

What if you were to choose how you felt?  What would you choose? How do you want to feel? What would that feel like?

The more we focus on the answer to those questions, the easier it is for all of our desires and dreams to effortlessly happen for us.

"You're Bad at Making Baby Food"

So it's Monday. And I'm looking at my week thinking about all the things I need to get done at home.  It seems with a new baby (but she's not so new anymore) I think excessively about all the ways one needs to care about these ever-changing, freakishly fast growing little humans.  I've already cleaned out her dresser and closet 3 times, for goodness sake!

Our new phase we've entered into is eating solids.  Easy enough, right? Nope! I found a new trigger in my life for mom guilt, and a way that I can make a mountain out of a mole hill.

I've been at this self-awareness piece for awhile.  I've recorded my thoughts, I've practiced self-care, self-compassion and genuine acceptance and self-love for who I am, but I STILL get snagged on little thoughts that creep into my head.

Back to today--I'm checking out all the different ways I can feed my child solids, the baby-led weaning, puree recipes, the "yes" food list, the "no" food list, when all of a sudden a feeling washes over me that says something like this...

"You're bad at making baby food."

Now--before I was aware of how these thoughts govern and control my life, I probably would have believed this voice in my head to be the truth.  I would have went down the rabbit hole of "I Suck"-ness, and told myself how challenging it is having a baby, and how she'll surely starve to death or fail to thrive, or at best, be a terribly picky eater. 

But thankful for all my self-reflection time, my mind perked up.

"I'm sorry--what was that? Oh hell no! Not this time!"
How many times have you had a self-sabotaging, negative, hurdle-creating thought enter your head about something "new"?  Or how often do you have those thoughts about something that's been a part of your life for as long as you can remember?

You don't have to accept the thoughts, negativity and "reality" of life as what it is--because it's not reality.  You have something better inside of you, full of limitless possibilities, waiting to be activated.  

And this activation starts with something as simple as observing your thoughts.  

You are not your thoughts. 

Let that sink in for a second. 

You are not your thoughts.

If you're feeling crummy, overwhelmed or even just indifferent in your life, take a look at what thoughts are coming into your head every day, and ask yourself "Is this serving me? Am I going to feel better, be better, and do better by listening to and believing this?".

Once you start to notice the thoughts that creep into your life that aren't serving you, start flipping them around.  What would be the awesome opposite of this thought?  The thought that would build me up and energize me?

Then focus on that.

What you focus on expands. If you lead your thoughts, you can lead your life to one better than you've ever imagined or hoped for.

Waiting for life to just happen for you? {Spoiler Alert}--It won't.

It's almost SPRING!

In the Canadian Prairies, there's nothing quite like the warming of temperatures and melting of snow to build up an excitement for all the beautiful-ness that is to come!

The upcoming turning of the seasons has made me reflect on the excitement of what's to come in my own life: the arrival of a new baby, a wedding, leaving my 9-5 and starting a business at home while on maternity leave. 2017 is going to be a BIG and BUSY year!

Unlike the seasons, the beautiful-ness that I desire and dream of is not going to come with the switch of a calendar date. I have to take meaningful action to get what I want and fulfill my dreams.

But there's SO many things that hold us back from taking action in our lives. Most of the time it's a resignation that we can never have what we truly want because of that overwhelming thought of how we're possibly going to get there.

I know this all too well. For most of my life, I was never TRULY happy with who and where I was, and I felt an incredible amount of guilt because of it. I had incredible parents, awesome siblings, so many fantastic friends, the opportunity to go to University, to learn and grow, a great career...

It felt like my whole life I was waiting, and I also had no idea how or drive to make it happen for myself. If a barrier or a "no" showed up, it would stop me in my tracks and I would give up on whatever I was trying to achieve on the spot.

I figured that as I paid my "life dues" I would eventually be smart enough, experienced enough and confident enough that life would just start feeling like the right fit and happen for me. At least I HOPED that's how it worked.

But how quickly I could turn from a dreamer to a "that's just not going to happen for me".

Does this sound familiar?

What's the story you tell yourself about why you haven't been able to have the life you really want?

The truth is, a lot of us have had our dreams snuffed out by the belief that the "practical reality" of our lives shapes what we can and cannot do.

Maybe you have people in your life that have told you to be realistic and that your dreams are just a picture or thought in your head that other people can have, but you can't.

I think it's fair to say that the people that say that to us have never had someone telling them to go out and achieve their dreams.

But you do!

Through my own soul-searching and clarity finding, I can confidently tell you that it IS possible to get what you want in your life.

And it starts with taking action--no matter how small.

A great first action is really working toward toward achieving more clarity in your life. None of us have it all figured out--but I know there's more answers and possibilities deep down inside of you that are waiting to be uncovered.

How can achieving clarity help you take action? Well here's how I've applied the 4 tips into my own life recently.


Be Curious 
Take time to observe and understand the thoughts and feelings that overwhelm you and stop you from taking action on the things that you REALLY want to be doing.

Journal about it, and write it down and reflect on what you're thinking and feeling.

Be Mindful
My one game-changer tip for you is to set yourself up for the best 8 hours of sleep possible. Most people thinks it starts in the AM with how and when you wake up, but it DEFINITELY starts with the night before.

Plan to get that 8 hours of sleep and turn off the TV and Electronics and do some light entertainment reading, relax, meditate, or have a bath. Just wind down your body and mind so it's ready for some great REM sleep and you are ready and set to take action the next day (ideally starting with some more time being mindful).

Embrace Synchronicity 
Pay attention to what is happening around you. Whether bad or good, there is often a message or meaning behind how and what is happening in our lives.

This may not happen every day, but the more present you are (ie. not obsessing about the past or worrying about the future), the more likely you are to notice those things that will put you on the right path to the actions you should be taking.

Celebrate Progress
There is no momentum killer quite like thinking we haven't done ENOUGH in our life. So in the spirit of being enough--make sure you're celebrating "moving the needle".

That person you admire who is SO super successful? Even they take small steps and actions toward their goals and all that they achieve. The secret they know that others don't is that it's important to have that positive, encouraging conversation and moment with yourself and acknowledge and celebrate the progress that you have made, no matter now small! 

A big SELF high-five will get you pumped up for what you're going to get done the next day.


So instead of looking at the people you admire and wishing you could have what they have, take that brainpower and set it toward the actions you can take to create that life your yourself.

Even one small action a day will create a momentum that wasn't there before, and is better than standing still in a life you're not completely sold on.

It's one step closer to creating a life you love and the live you are meant to be living.

Wishing you a week full of clarity and action-taking!



P.S. If you haven't had a chance yet, make sure you get your 4 Tips to Achieve More Clarity in Your Life Workbook.  Click here to get it now!

P.P.S. Make sure you come follow me on Facebook or Instagram so we can connect there too.

Leader Profile: Reagan Jewitt


Reagan Jewitt is a self proclaimed "yogi who loves oils, prairie hearted, mountain loving girl who likes to pump iron and who also enjoys living a life by design" in Nelson, British Columbia with her husband and four kids. She is a Young Living Essential Oils Independent Distributor, one of the founders of ‘The Real Deal’ team, and is a Yoga and Nia instructor.

"After I finished school, I started working and was feeling really lost and unsure just of the whole system of what work is and the confined hours of a 40 hour work week with 2 weeks vacation time a year. I wanted to see what else was out there in the world so I decided to go traveling. I ended up finding Nia while I was in Thailand which is kind of my first big love that opened me up to a whole world of just looking at things in a different way and right after I finished my Nia training in BC, I met my husband, Danny which was all in perfect timing.

We knew we wanted a big family and it was important to us for one of us to be at home with our kids so he was a teacher and we made that decision that I would stay home. Living off of a teacher’s income was tight at times, but we made it work. I remember a time one spring where we were just really crunched for money, and I ended up picking up Louise Hayes book, You Can Heal Your Life. I started following a lot of the stuff she said in that book, working on mindset and also really working on the prosperity section of that book and changing that kind of mindset. Then I wrote down this huge list of the things that I wanted, and it felt like such a stretch and I had no idea how it was going to happen. I started selling Young Living about six months later, and from there I slowly built my team and we created our team called ‘The Real Deal’. It is symbolic of the girls on my team who are really just honest, open and real about life, and honest with people in a real way. It fit in really well with the Nia and Yoga and the healthy lifestyle stuff that I believe in. Eventually we started to see a lot of success and ended up accomplishing many of those things on my list like moving out to BC and Danny being able to quit his job and be really involved with the kids and their activities.

When I first moved to Nelson I experienced a bit of questioning about purpose, identity and what it was I truly wanted. There are a vast array of unique people in this community and I thought "what am I? What am I here for?", and after a while of this questioning, it just came back to "just do the things that you really love doing and sharing, and don’t worry about the rest". I really had to sit down and think what is it that brings me true joy, and not trying to be some kind of label or something that I’m not. I had to ask myself, what is it that works for me? It really is about being honest and real with yourself, and why you want certain things, and having gratitude and appreciating those things once you have them. It’s definitely special to see the family enjoying Nelson, but also for the kids just seeing us living our life on our own terms. To show them that it’s possible. That you have a choice. There’s always a choice.

To create a life that you love you really need to believe that it can happen. Don’t worry so much about how it’s going to happen, but more what the feeling will be after having whatever it is that you want in your life. The more that you can draw that feeling into the body, the more you’re going to attract things that bring you those feelings. Staying as positive as you can, and having some sort of practice of meditation, or some time every day where you’re actually thinking about how you want to feel. The feelings are more important than what you have. Just take things one step at a time and be consistent at taking one little step every day. Sometimes it can feel like a goal is a mountain away but if you just keep steady at it, those steps will bring you to the life you always believed in."


Do you know a Leader? Someone that is inspiring to you or others because they are living a life that they love? Please send your nominations or ideas of other Leaders that could be profiled to paula@leadyourwaycoaching.ca. The only criteria are that they are living a life they love :)

Old Habits Die Hard


Old habits die hard.  What does that even mean anyway?  A quick google search tells me that this expression originates a long time ago, but not many can pinpoint the answer outside the fact that habits are hard, and we're going to die try to defeat them.  Pretty positive stuff! So how do we rid ourselves of these pesky old habits? It's not easy.  There is research that supports that our habits are so deeply ingrained in our being, that any stress that creates a deviation away from the creation of a new, alternate habit (let's say losing weight or quitting smoking) will put us right back where we used to be in those comfortable, predictable, and often detrimental old ways.

I say detrimental because often these habits stop us from being the true version of ourselves.  That self we want to be, who is a better person for those around us, and contributing more in the life that we love and want to create for ourselves and others.

I know those old habits the same way you do.  It can be overeating, under exercising, having a short fuse, not being attentive to others, not focused, complacent and just plain 'blah'.  Those areas of our life that leave us feeling not so great about ourselves, that we hope to find a way to propel ourselves and lead our way up and away from those old patterns of behaviour.

I think we've all experienced that it's not easy getting over our bad habits and creating new ones, but there are some things we can do to help us succeed in stopping those old patterns that aren't serving us, and evolve into new habits that get us closer to being that person we are meant to be.

Focus on what you want and WHY you want it.

So what do you want? To be healthier. Why? To be there for my kids as they get older. Why? To help them turn into good humans who can live their dreams and the best life they possibly can. Why? Why? Why? WHY is this important to you?  Keep asking yourself that question until you cannot possibly go any further with the question why.  Think 5-year-old you nagging yourself the same way you would nag your Mom about all the "Why's" that existed in your world back then.  It may even feel that uncomfortable and irritating to have to keep searching for that answer to "Why", but believe me,  it's worth it.

Surround yourself with supportive people.

Stay in touch. Be available. Make this a priority! No matter how uncomfortable it is to the introvert in you, no matter how impossible it seems to the mother parenting full-time, no matter how much work there is to do, or other priorities that come up.  MAKE TIME FOR THESE PEOPLE!  You cannot underestimate the value of talking out those areas that you want to be better and do better with people that love you and support you.  I wish I could say I learned this by doing--but I learned it by not doing and realized how much time I'd wasted and how many friendships and relationships I had let fade that shouldn't have.

Let go of the past.

This is a big one, and it's not easily done.  We like to punish ourselves for all the times that we didn't measure up, do our best or live up to the standards that we, or others, set for us.  But just let it go.  You are not that person.  Every stumble, every failure, every time you reverted back to those old habits that you swore up and down and prayed that you wouldn't go back to.  Just let it go. You are here right now, in this moment.  Moving forward to who and what you want to be. Which leads me to my next point...

Be kind to yourself.

Loving yourself is easier said then done.  For the hyper personal critic out there who has felt their fair share of shame and guilt, this is a very tall order.  Maybe first it just starts with cutting yourself some slack? So you're not perfect. So you fall back into old patterns of behaviour and unhealthy habits.  I know one thing, and that is that beating yourself up to the point that you convince yourself you're no good, worthless and can't do it, is not going to propel you forward.  It's going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.  So take some time to say some nice things about yourself.   Ideally having a daily or weekly ritual where you can have some "you" time: a cup of coffee in the morning, an evening walk, journaling time, time set aside for meditation,  but the important part is that you have positive energy and words directed toward yourself.

And lastly...


People really underestimate the power of a good pat on the back--but I'm starting to realize why they made us do it so much in elementary school.  This part really helps with the ability to be kind to yourself, so it is important to recognize and really CELEBRATE those times and days when you make progress that means something to you.  Whether that be sharing kind, empowering words with yourself, gloating and expressing your pride to others, or making a big event and going out to dinner, drinks or any social outing to celebrate!  In it's most basic form it is asking yourself 'What did I do that was good today?', and 'What do I want to do better next time?'  Work in moments, not events. We can only walk before we run, and before that we couldn't walk at all.  As daunting as Point A to Point B seems, celebrating every single small step along the way will create a momentum and a motivation toward the creation of that new habit and lifestyle you're looking to put in place.

Just because the expression "old habits die hard" is as well known as it is does not mean that we are completely helpless to change them.   It just takes some work, and an awareness to know that we are not defined by what we have done in our past and up to now. We are defined by what we continue to do, and how we show up each and every day.  So if we're moving forward and focusing on what it is we really want, surrounding ourselves with good people, being kind to ourselves, and celebrating the progress and success that we do have, I would say that we are showing up pretty well.

Our old habits only make us older.  Our new habits make us who we are meant to be.


Leader Profile: Richelle Dahl


My second Leader Profile is of Richelle Dahl of Dahling Productions.  Richelle is a dance teacher and operates a creative performing arts company that puts on musical, theatre, visual arts and dancing productions that allow so many in her community to showcase their talents and be part of her inspiring and uplifting messages.

“I believe that my life is shaped and moulded by my faith. A turning point occurred in my life when I met Jesus, and I began to understand that the talents and giftings I have came from Him and the purpose He gives me, and while I was in college I learned how I could use my passions and strengths to share a meaningful message with people. That allowed me to set out and try to reach my community through the performing arts. I want my work to inspire and encourage reflection in everyone who sees it. It’s my company’s vision to make the performing arts accessible to every type of person for the purpose of company members and audience to walk away better than they came. I wouldn't be able to do what I do without the support of others, so it is extremely important that I surround myself with like-minded people to sharpen me and help me stay consistent in my goals.

I believe that life is about knowing who you are and what you set your foundation on, and then creating and carrying out a vision for yourself from that point. Knowing those things keeps me grounded when life gets confusing or tough. Sometimes it’s hard to live a balanced life and keep myself in check with what’s really important, so I’m always reminding myself personally and in my company what my vision is because then when I measure success in both, I can check back with my goals and know that is what true success is. I feel the most happy, and fulfilled when I am practicing those things.

I think living life in a genuine and authentic way is really important, but you can’t do that if you don’t know who you are. You have to start at the foundation, and then grow and build from there. So asking yourself, “Who do I want to be? What’s important to me? What are my values, morals, and vision?”.  That gives you something to look back on and ask “are my actions matching up with who I say I am?", and pushes you forward into becoming who you want to be and how you want to choose to impact the world with your life.”

Do you know a Leader? Someone that is inspiring to you or others because they are living a life that they love? Please send your nominations or ideas of other Pavers that could be profiled to paula@leadyourwaycoaching.ca. The only criteria are that they are living a life they love :)

How Do We Choose


We’ve all been given a lecture about “making good choices” at some point in our lives.  It may have came in the way of a conversation from our concerned parents to our teenage self.  Or perhaps a teacher or boss who had some higher expectations for us than we did for ourselves.  During our younger years there wasn’t much to weigh when it came to making choices besides how we felt about them. But as we get older, we realize how important our choices are.  We figure out that "living in the moment" is all fine and good, as long as that moment includes choices that aren't, well, poor.  I think it's fair to say that sometimes us humans, even in our older and wiser years, still don't make the best choices. In the super connected world we've been living in over the last decade, we get to see other’s choices every single day: their choice of words, choice of consumption, but mostly their choice of how they spend their time and how they feel about it (for the avid snapchatters out there).  All of this connection can give us a pretty good idea about who people are.  We are more accountable, more aware, (or at least we should be) of what our choices say about us.

We are our choices. But it is the poor choices that take up so much of our time, energy, emotions with the consequences of poor choices spreading to all the other areas of our lives: how we perform in our job and at home, how we interact with our spouse, kids, family, coworkers. Everyone.  Poor choices and the resulting consequences can intertwine into our lives and amplify any negativity or challenging situation that is lurking.

But do you know what the best thing is about poor choices?  There’s still a choice.  We can decide, and choose, to make a new starting point.  A point from which we can make the choices that will lead our life in a direction and a way that will truly serve us, and then ultimately serve others.  Sure, the consequences of previous choices might still be lurking around, but with every step forward—every good choice—we are leading our way to that life and that person we are meant to be.

But there’s so much to choose from? How do we choose? 

Those choices that lead us on our path to a life that brings us the most joy, happiness and purpose are almost the easiest choices to make, because they are entirely personal.  It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about us and what we choose.  It only matters that we are doing what is important to ourselves.  That we make ourselves proud.

What is important to you? What do you want more of, and why do you want more of it?  What do you value in your life?

When we can answer those questions to ourselves, it is much easier to set an intention of what we want our life to be.  And when you set that intention, it’s so much easier to make those choices that keep you moving forward, leading your way to creating a life you love.

Leader Profile: Jacqueline Tuffs


My first “Leader Profile” is of Jacqueline Tuffs who owns fitness studio, Get Jacqued (Jacqueline Tuffs Fitness). I remember hearing the story that when she first started out there was 1 person who showed up to her first class. Now as a wife, Mom, and full-time fitness professional, she is filling classes with clients. She’s has expanded her career as a fitness educator, being one of 6 Beachbody LIVE Master Trainers in Canada. But she had to start somewhere. Check out her story below to learn more about how Jacqueline created and is living this life that she loves.

"Creating the life I love was really about deciding what is important, looking ahead and filtering out the things that are going to come along the way. It was important to me to create a secure environment that felt inclusive for everyone, and that is one of the things I’m most proud of. I believed if people felt safe, they would buy into that, and then in return would buy into themselves. It’s easy to get lost in what you think you should be doing versus what’s important to do, but I have always lead with the heart and not with the business, and that’s why the business has continued to build. I want each person to feel successful, supported and trusting, and if they didn’t feel that, I don’t think they would come.

When I’m living the life that I love, I feel like I am making positive contributions of myself and my time in my family, business and community, and it is just a good flow. You have to put yourself first, and that is sometimes hard for women--Mom’s especially. If you fill yourself up first, you have just that much more to give to everyone else, and when you’re happy, everyone feels that positive effect, and that effect just keeps trickling down the line.

If I were to give advice to someone about creating a life that they love it would be to ask yourself, what is important to you? What are your core values? What do you envision for yourself in your life? If what you’re doing doesn’t excite or inspire you to continue to learn and do better and to encourage the next person to continue to learn and be better, then what can you do to make a change? The people that you choose to surround yourself with have a big impact on how you perceive yourself and your life. You need to surround yourself with people who have the same values as you, who are positive, and are happy for you when you are happy and are sad for you when you are sad. It’s about connection. When you can connect with people, there are endless possibilities for you.

Whatever you decide to do there’s always challenges, but the challenges are good. They help you decide “is this really worth it?”. It has to be something that you desire for yourself, I think everyone has that little fire inside, and it’s up to you to decide whether you tap in on that or not. Someone very wise once told me, if you don’t buy into yourself, how are you going to make anybody else buy into you? If you’re open to education, knowledge, feedback, guidance, then you can just keep going and going. Be open-minded, be willing to listen to others and to learn from them. You can learn something from every single person that you cross paths with. I know I have."

Do you know someone who is leading their way? Someone that is inspiring to you or others because they are living a life that they love? Please send your nominations or ideas for future profiles to paula@leadyourwaycoaching.ca. The only criteria is that they are living a life they love.

Making Ourselves Proud

Let's clear one thing up here: creating a life you love is not just about achieving your dreams.

It certainly CAN be about achieving your dreams, but there are some people who are content with who they are, where they are at, and comfortable and happy with that contentment in their life.  For others it takes a little bit more work (and soul-searching!) to feel like we're delivering on that purpose-filled life.  Now that's not to say those content individuals don't have dreams, but they have found a peace and place that they feel truly happy in the lives that they live.  Think of that person you know that is just happy and joyful to be taking care of their family, their community,  and going to work everyday and contributing to the world around them in their daily tasks.  We all know at least one!

It is those steadfast people that are inspiring to all of us.  If they can be that happy, joyful, peaceful, content, kind, etc., then why can't I?  Well...why can't you?

Sometimes it's about attitude, but sometimes it's not.  Sometimes we just aren't doing the things that fill us up, or we're spending our time around people or doing things that are standing in the way of us reaching that point.  We're stuck.

Creating and living a live you love isn't about reaching for the moon or the stars, becoming rich and famous, changing the world or believing we can do anything if we just put our mind to it (although, I think a version of that last part is true).

It's about making ourselves proud.  That is something the contented experience already--they have that pride in themselves from their daily successes, and the secure, happy feeling they get from their day-to-day life.    I have a fantastic example of this that I came across on Facebook in the last week.  There is a local woman I know of whose son was in an accident and she has been by his bedside in the hospital completely immersed in what most of us can only imagine to be a very challenging time, but she has this incredible positive attitude that others notice.

This was her response to someone at the hospital who recently asked her how she stays so positive:
I think I find it easy to be positive because I like myself a lot! I'm a good person with a good heart and am always here to help out in any way! When I lay my head down at night I know I've been the best "me" I can be, and once you're truly comfortable with who you are, everything else comes easy! I no longer waste time on what others think of me! That alone frees up a lot of time to be happy!!
That's real life people.  When I came across it, it took my breath away.  She makes herself proud each and every day by being "the best me" she can, and also spoke to all the things that can happen to you once you find that space and place in your life.  Making yourself proud frees you up to be a person who isn't affected by what others might think about you, and frees you of the need to try and make others proud or think more highly of you.  It's truly all about how you feel about yourself.  And making yourself proud leads the way to loving who you are and what you are doing in your life.

We can all make ourselves proud.  Some of us are there already, but for those of us that aren't, it's important to take a look at what it is that you want in your life, what is truly important, what values that stands for, and then deliver on those values.

Once we get there, making ourselves proud is easy.

Creating the Life You Love


Creating the life you love.  When you hear me say that, or say it to yourself, you might experience a guttural reaction where more than few thoughts pop into your head about how it's not possible, and there's just too much in the way.  What we then resign ourselves to doing is looking at those that we admire that are living the life or have something that we want, and we try and figure out how they do it.  We think that obviously they have it all together, and because of that, they are so happy, content, calm, peaceful, joyful...(insert positive adjective here). There's a secret here. Ok, not so much a secret. But there is something we fail to realize.  No one has it all together. We all have chaos, stress, busy work, family and personal lives, with challenges that sideswipe us wherever we go.

So you're now probably asking, if they have the same chaos that I do, how can they possibly be so happy and content?

Because they have found the one thing that makes the chaos bearable, tolerable, and really in their eyes, beautiful.  They found themselves, and pushed themselves to be living their life's purpose. They live in all of those dreams they have, those heart-fluttering thoughts that we have all experienced, but a lot of us have had squashed by our own perceptions that the chaos and "practical reality" of our lives shapes what we can and cannot do.

Maybe some of you have had or have people in your lives that have told you to be realistic and that your dreams are just that: a picture or thought in your head.  I think it's fair to say that the people that say that to us have never had someone telling them to go out and achieve their dreams.  But you do!

I'm here to tell you that it is all possible, and it starts with identifying and saying out loud what it is you truly want for your life. 

What do you want for you? For your family, your community, and everything that you touch in your life.  That dream might not have something concrete in it just yet, or be some grand master plan, but before you can run you need to walk.  Your first baby step is to set an intention of what you want to bring in to your life, and as that intention grows in your mind and your heart, those things that you dream of will begin to materialize in ways that you could never imagine.

So what do you want?  Sometimes there is not an answer that is readily available to us.  Sometimes we just know the answer in terms of what we don't want.  It is important that you take that answer of what you don't want, and flip around in a way to state what it is that you DO want.  To do this you will have to ask some questions and have conversations with yourself that you don't normally have, digging really deep down for the answers.

So try it today.  Set that intention.   Instead of looking at the people you admire and wishing you could have what they have, take that brainpower and set it toward how you want to create that life your yourself. Even if your intention is to figure out how to bring that happiness and contentment to your life, that one step is better than standing still in a life you're not completely sold on.  It's one step closer to creating the life you love.